As you know, today Michael had his "last surgery" to salvage his eyesight. We told the doctor we had to make sure and do everything possible so we could always know we had done so. Needless to say, it was unsuccessful. The doctor said there was just too much damage. In fact, he said it was a miracle they had even been able to save it in Afghanistan. Perhaps that might have been easier to deal with for us but not necessarily for him. The giant miracle we were all hoping and praying for isn't what we got but we all need to remember that God is in charge and we're on His schedule and we're still asking and He's still listening.
All week I have been praying for Michael and giving him Priesthood blessing whenever possible. As I have though about these blessings and prepared to give them, I've prayed and asked the Lord for the inspiration to say what He wanted, not what I wanted. I've noticed I've been unable to speak the words, "your eye will be normal" or "you will see again". I remember saying "you will see the beauty of the world" and I remember saying "you will be well and whole again". Either statement could be interpreted either way but I knew in my heart his sight was gone and when the news came from the doctor today, it hit mom pretty hard but I was mostly OK and able to hold her and be strong for her and be with Michael when she didn't feel able to. She needed a little time to compose herself so I stayed with Michael in the recovery room until he was sent back upstairs.
After we got back to his room and we were alone, I asked him what he remembered about the surgery and what the doctor had said. He didn't remember anything. I asked if he wanted me to tell him and he did. He wrote to me that "he wanted to be the first to know everything". With that, I carefully told the whole story, starting with the explosion, the surgeries in Afghanistan, the extent of the damage and ending with the fact he was now blind. He slowly nodded and sat there. I told him that if there were any way I could trade him places I would, and he wrote that he wouldn't let me because "it hurts like crazy and you're really thirsty".
I told him how proud and blessed I am to be his dad, and how proud I am to be his brother in Christ. I put my hand on his leg and we just sat there for a while.
Mom came in and we talked (and wrote), and laughed, and cried a little but we all felt comforted. The same spirit that let me know the outcome of this surgery, has testified to my soul that Michael will be well and whole and happy. He will be blind but it's only temporary setback. He is a strong, smart, committed man that will overcome this and move ahead on the path the Lord has prepared him for and he has agreed to tread. There will be dark days and the near future will be full of challenges that will try him mightily but as a family we can pull together and make this an experience that will bring us all closer to each other and to God.
Thank you all for your support, your love, and your genuine concern for Michael (and for us). Know I love you and am truly grateful to God for allowing me the privilege of calling you family.
Love, Dad
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I sit here in tears. WE have been praying and thinking of Michael and all of you nonstop. My heart aches, I was so hoping for the outcome to be different. But I appreciate you sharing this letter with us. You are right it isn't up to us and I know Heavenly Father is aware of you. We will continue to pray for you all. I appreciate you and especially Michael and his service. After the shock and reality of the situation, my first thoughts were Michael is a strong man and he will prevail! I'm proud of him and so happy that he has you both with him right now. I wish I was closer to hug any of you but from Seoul Korea to you a big hug. We love you!
ReplyDeleteAmber & Spencer Cottrell
Thank you Bishop for the update and please, if you remember, thank your great son for his great sacrifice. Words can not express how I feel for him and your family. You've all been in my prayers. I pray that our Father in Heaven will continue to bless you all and give you strength for what lies ahead. I know it sounds so small and worthless for me to say this but if there is anything I can do to help your family please let me know.
ReplyDeleteTo Michael and family, my husband and I have been following your blog and are doing everything we can to make it to Durango, CO to show our support for you. Michael is beloved and missed by his comrades here at Ft. Riley and is being surrounded by prayer. He is such an amazing and strong person, as is his family. We will continue to pray for him and the family.
ReplyDeleteChelsea & Erik Roberts
Bishop, I'm so sorrowed for Michael. I know he is in good hands, both your's and Roxann's and his Heavenly parents, too. I, still, can't help but be weighed down with you. The last time I saw him, I hugged him and told him he was a good boy; I can't help but feel like that was such an understatement. I'm so sorry; one day . . . you will all rise up together being made whole, see and embrace eachother.
ReplyDeleteFor now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
1 Corinthians 13--always been one of my favorite chapters. We love you Bishop, Roxann, and Michael. sara
Michael, I am so very sorry to hear of the outcome of the surgery. I keep trying to understand why any of this has happened and I am having a very hard time accepting the fact that god has allowed this to happen but I know in my heart that there will be light at the end of the tunnel and he has a greater plan for you that no one but you will be able to understand. I always add this quote in anthing that I write or send to David and Julie, hopefully this will offer a little comfort to you and your family, "Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain." My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. God bless, Shelia Vaughn-Mom in Oklahoma
ReplyDelete