Tomorrow will be three years since the day in Afghanistan that changed the lives of so many. I remember Afghanistan like it was yesterday. I have a lot of videos that Brad and I took and I listen to them pretty regularly late at night when everyone else is sleeping.
Every single one leaves me smiling. As weird as it may sound, those were some of the best days of my short military career. Brad was a blast to work with and even though we had only known each other for a few years it felt like we had been friends for so much longer.
We never knew how much we had in common and how much fun the job could be down range.We woke up every day excited to be there and doing what we had spent so long training to do.
You can imagine but will never truly grasp the bonds that are created between war fighters down range. We had only been there a month but 3rd platoon from Ft. Carson felt like our brothers. Well, step brothers maybe, the red headed ones. They're still Army after all ha ha.
I remember talking with Brad just a few days before the 3rd. We were talking about the division that exists between the blue and green. I remember him telling me that he thought they really were just like us, just in a different uniform. I couldn't agree more. The reasons that someone joins the military are as different as where they all come from but deep down we all were the same. When you're walking through war torn country trying to do your part to accomplish the goals of the politicians back on the Hill everything is much more simple. All we were trying to do was our jobs, to the best to our ability.
Brad and I had a job that was a little different from the Army guys. We were there to save their bacon when the you know what hit the fan. We had a few good chances to do that very thing and I still smile when I hear their cheering in the videos I took when the A-10s come flying over head with their guns blazing.
A TACP's job is to use air power to save lives by denying the enemy theirs. It's not easy and war is never glorious or fun but it's necessary.
Thinking back on the 3rd I can't help but feel a sense of failure of sorts. I had gone through hell to be there, I had earned my stripes and paid my dues. I was there to do a job. But when that first bomb went off I was out of the fight. I still feel like I should have done more to help.
I know that I did all I could and I'm not having the breakdown that so many thought would happen sooner or later but it's impossible to not have these sorts of thoughts cross my mind, especially on the 3rd.
The "what if" question is pointless in my mind. People ask what I think things would be like if I hadn't chosen to cross that bridge and I always say that's not a fair question. I could have died in the second blast, I could have gotten shot and killed, so many worse scenarios could have been reality.
I can say beyond the shadow of a doubt that I don't regret, nor would I change a thing that has happened to me. If I could spare the lives of Brad, Josh, John, and Brian I would without hesitation, but trading my sight for the life I have now is an easy choice and one I would make the same decision on every time.
I still miss serving. I still wish I could go back and do my job but I know that life has bigger plans for me and I am accepting of that. Being a father and husband is the most important thing to me now and that's the way it should be.
The events of that day put things in motion that nobody could have predicted. It brought me to Jesse and Kadence. Two girls who have changed my life for the better. I can't imagine what I would be doing and where I would be without them.
Jesse is an amazing woman and has always quietly supported me. She is often forgotten by the military folks when I go to speak but she is what motivates me to be better every day. I am grateful for the chance she took on me and for her trust that I wasn't a complete loon.
Kadence is an angel and wise beyond her years. She knows what happened and we have never tried to keep anything from her. She knows Josh, knows her daddy, and loves and misses him. She still tells us how she is excited to see him someday.
Times like these make me so grateful for my faith and knowing that after this life everything will be perfect.
Usually on this anniversary we just hang around the house, deep in our own thoughts but this year we plan to do something new. We are going out as a family to spend time together and do something fun. We still don't know what it is but we'll figure it out tomorrow.
It's impossible for me to feel angry or depressed about the 3rd when we have so many blessings because of it. None of us knew how generous and kind complete strangers could be. We never imagined how communities and friends could come together to accomplish something amazing. These experiences we've had have taught us so much.
I miss my boys in the TACP community and I miss doing the job that I loved but I am grateful every day for the opportunities I had even if they were shorter than I would have liked.
My life couldn't be much better. I have an amazing family that is about to welcome a new member to the crew really any time now. I have the opportunity to make new goals and reach them. We are a month away from moving into a beautiful home given to us by those who understand our sacrifice and are grateful for what we have given. We have the opportunity to help others and that is what we plan to do.
I've almost stopped watching the news. All that happens is arguing and people talking about how the country is going downhill. This may be true in some areas but this is still the best country on earth and I am proud to live here and proud to be able to say that I was able to do my part to earn these freedoms we all enjoy so much.
My official retirement date is March 28th and it will be sad to hang my uniform up for the last time. It will be bitter sweet but we have made life long friends and I know we are always welcome back at Ft. Riley.
I know that I haven't been the best blogger and my parents are always relaying messages from you guys when I haven't posted something new but I plan to keep on it and this year is going to bring some big changes and new adventures that I will share with you all. This blog started out as an outlet for family members and a way for friends to reach out to us but now it has become a diary of sorts. I have started writing, in the hopes of someday releasing a book and this blog will be the most important resource I have. I am thankful that my family members started this and updated it so regularly. I am thankful for all of you who read this. It makes things easier to know that it is being read and hopefully appreciated.
We all appreciate the thoughts and prayers you have sent our way. I hope you have enjoyed this adventure so far.
God bless you all and thank you for caring about us.
God Bless You Mike,keep up the good work.
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