This morning was one of those days. I've decided that God has a sense of humor like a grouchy supervisor in the military…when they see that you aren't actively doing something then they want to help you do something.
I woke up this morning around 6:15 with some pretty intense pain on the left side of my stomach. I tried to ignore it and just roll over but the more I adjusted, the more it started to hurt. It wasn't long before it had me starting to worry.
Jesse woke up not too much later and immediately knew something was wrong. When she figured out how much pain I was in she sprung into action waking people up and getting them ready to head to the ER.
During her gathering spree, I was in the bathroom throwing up. I emptied an already empty stomach many times this morning. It was the most painful bit of nausea I have ever experienced. As soon as I would get done, I tried to drink a little water and it would try to come right back up.
Xxon knew something weird was going on because he wouldn't leave me alone. He kept putting his paws on my arms and licking me. Unfortunately, I wasn't in a mood for compassion or cuteness so I just kept pushing him away from me.
Sean and Jesse got everyone ready and loaded in the truck while I threw up some more and we headed out to BAMC.
They struggled through traffic and the brain dead San Antonio drivers while Kadence sat in the back seat talking about food and I focused on trying not to throw up again.
I am not normally such a pansy when it comes to pain but this was something else folks. I don't remember hurting this bad at Walter Reed after being blown up. It was bad.
We get to the ER and get checked in, sit and wait, sit and wait some more, then finally get called back to see someone. They throw me in a gown and ask me all the basic hospital questions over and over. I am sure they were trying to hurry but to me it seemed like they were just chatting it up and trying to make conversation. It was driving me crazy. All I wanted was pain killers and these nurses wanted to be good friends. In their defense as I said I am sure it wasn't as bad as it seemed.
In and out come the doctors. They listen to me breathe, poke my stomach and back, the usual doctor stuff. Not too long later one comes in and says they found a significant amount of blood in my urine…not what I like to hear. He then says I may have some sort of infection and walked out the door. Not so comforting.
They put my IV in and pumped me full of morphine which helped the pain somewhat, about enough that I could ignore it . By this point I am feeling all warm inside and just want to sleep but those pesky nurses and doctors were bound and determined to figure out what was wrong with me.
Here is the really bad part……these are words that will chill a man to his core. The doctor walked in my room and said...
"Mike, I need to check your rectum."
It was bad you guys. It certainly took my mind off of the pain in my side…not in a way I prefer however. Fortunately, it was over swiftly and I got to pick up the shattered pieces of my dignity.
Then the doctor says
"I need to check inside your mouth now."
I am praying in my head that he at least washed his hands before this part…hopefully a change of gloves if nothing else. This can't be happening….
Luckily he just looked in there and left me alone with my shame.
The doctor came in a little later with the news that I have a kidney stone. Not just a little fella, one big nasty brute that is clogging my insides. He is just shy of 1cm and we don't get along at all.
After getting an x-ray, the doc lays out the plan of attack for us. Wednesday we head in for a follow up appointment and then we schedule surgery.
This is no regular surgery I'll have you know. Remember that old game Asteroids? Where you are the little triangle shaped space ship and you fly around blasting rocks to bits? Yes, that is what they will be doing inside of me soon.
It gets worse...
This device is about as big around as a phone cord…which they insert through my…well you get it. So they shove this in there and with little lasers, blast the kidney stone to nothing more than bad memories and dust. Simple and straight forward. The anticipation is just killing me….
We are home now after about six hours in the ER. We are very fortunate to have my bro-in-law here to wrangle children for us. They sent me home with some pain killers and other similar drugs and now we just wait and see what happens next.
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